Suicide Kisses
by Scary-Little-Pixie
Summary: I didn't ask for this. None of us did. All we wanted was to die. But do we ever get what we want? We wanted to end our lives. Now we have to live them for eternity.
1. The Fallen

**I didn't ask for this. All I wanted was to die. And now here I am, stuck in an endless eternity. But I have my best friends. The only thing keeping me from going insane. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward. The only points of light in this stretch of forever. The undead. This is a story. It is not a happy story. But it is _our _story.**

Chapter One – The Fallen

I paced the floor of my office, the blood pounding in my head. I couldn't wait forever! Did Jacob think I had all the time in the world? I wish. I glanced up at the clock, my brow furrowing as I read the time. 20.57. He was supposed to pick me up at seven. Typical.

_Why do I put up with this? _I thought, as I stepped out into the rain to hail a cab. Again. I brushed past a man, tall and lean with startling green eyes. He looked at me with distraught eyes but I was past caring for other people now, I had to get home and give my stupid fiancé a piece of my mind. I climbed into the taxi and gazed out of the window. The New York streets were filled with people. I saw a striking woman glare at some thugs as they cat called at her. A couple, in a heated argument. A man curled up in a doorway, begging for coins. Another man, handing him a coat.

"Miss?" A strong Brooklyn accent broke me out of my thoughts. I blinked, handing the driver his money.

"Keep the change!" I called as I climbed out into the pouring rain to rush to my apartment building. Though I had only been outside for five minutes, I was soaked to my skin. I shivered as I walked down the hallway and unlocked my door.

_I can't wait to get out of these things..._was my last thought before I saw it.

Jacob, my Jacob, wrapped around another woman. Their bodies glistened with sweat, there was no denying what they'd been doing. Tears clouded my vision as I attempted to speak.

"Bella?" Jake whispered in a shocked whisper. Apparently he'd been able to disentangle himself for long enough to notice my presence. I blinked and felt moisture on my cheeks.

"I..." was all I stuttered out before fleeing down the hall.

"Who was that Jakey?" a nasally voice asked in the distance. _Jakey_.

"Bella! Please wait! I'm sorry!" I stopped and turned to face the love of my life. He took a deep breath and made to put his arms around me. I flinched away.

"Why?" I said so quietly it was barely audible. He shook his head.

"I don't know. But you and me...we haven't been right Bells, not for a long time. We were friends, then we were more. It's been so natural. We didn't get engaged out of love, we got engaged cause it was the next logical step. And when i met Lauren...something changed. I love her Bella. I'm sorry." He loved her. He _loved_ her. _Her_. Not me. Never me.

"It may not have been love for you Jake...but it was for me. It was everything for me." And I ran for the stairwell.

Despair ripped through me as i ran. Jake was all I had in the world. If I didn't have him...what was the point? I wrenched my engagement ring from my finger but I couldn't bring myself to let go of it. I flew up the stairs and onto the roof. The rain was beating down hard onto my skin.

"Bella...what are you doing?" A warm hand touched my arm. I tore myself away.

"What's the point Jake? I don't have anything. I don't have anyone. The world would be better if I wasn't in it." My voice sounded surprisingly calm, emotions were churning around inside of me.

"Don't do this Bells. We can work this out! This is the first time, I swear!" I shook my head, laughing.

" I wish I could believe that Jacob. I really do." I stepped backward, toward the edge.

"Bella..." I stepped back, balancing on the edge.

"Goodbye Jacob"

And then I fell. The wind danced around in my head, my clothes billowed as I flew. The ground neared but I hardly noticed as I flew through the air. The rain thrashed me and the air stole my breath. It felt almost pleasant. My ring flew out of my hand. I heard a quiet scream and then...nothing.

_Is this what death is like? Nothingness?_

I could feel nothing, but I could think. I saw a red light in the distance. It got closer, closer, until...bang!

My eyes opened. I was surrounded by white, white walls, white floor.

"Is this heaven?" I asked myself. "It must be"

"On the contrary" a smooth voice behind me spoke, startling me. "This is the waiting point" I moved to turn but something stopped me.

"I would prefer you didn't see me, Isabella, you would regret it later."

I frowned but continued to stare a a white wall.

"Why aren't I dead?" A light chuckle.

"You may ask the others. You will be joining them soon enough. I must go now, Isabella. Good luck."

I opened my mouth to speak again but began to notice the walls. They were so bright. They got brighter until they became to bright for me to look at. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I was alone.

"Hey...?" My confusion became too much and I began to cry.

"What the..." I twisted toward the voice. And gasped at what I saw.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any characters affiliated with Twilight. I do, however, own a rather cool chair shaped like a stiletto. I'm sitting in it right now._


	2. The Deranged

Chapter Two - The Deranged

"I'm very sorry, Mr Masen, but you'll have to come with me. This is going to get better"

Better? Ha. Like my life could get better. My life was an endless pit of pain and despair, and it always would be. I curled up on the chair and thought. My life hadn't always been like this. I used to be happy. A long time ago. A hand touched my arm and I shyed away.

"Mr Masen. Please. Don't make this difficult" I smiled to myself briefly. It made me happy that I was causing an inconvenience. It meant a small part of them understood.

"Edward" My head snapped up at the familiar voice. A tall, beautiful woman with bronze hair flowing down her back stood before me. She stared at me, sadness clear in her brown eyes.

"Mom?" I whispered, my brow furrowing.

"Edward. Your mother has been dead for 15 years now." I looked up at the doctor, agonised.

"She's right there! Can't you see her? She's there, she's right..." As I lifted my finger to point, she disappeared.

"Mom! Come back, please, come back!" I dissolved into sobs, curling up on the park bench that had become my refuge. A cool hand was gently placed on my shoulder.

"Edward. You need to go back to the hospital. You aren't well. Come with me"

I didn't want to go back to that place. I never wanted to go back to that place.

"It's full of lunatics! I'm not crazy! I'm not!" And then I ran.

I flew out of the building and tore through the streets of Brooklyn. My feet pounded against the floor until I couldn't feel them but still I ran. My feet splashed through puddles created by the rain I had only just noticed. I glanced round quickly. No-one was following me and if they were they were very far behind. I slowed to a brisk walk and looked around. I was in a fancy part of New York, I could tell that much. Designer labels were everywhere and the scent of lobster and steak assaulted my nostrils. I must've been near my childhood home. Oh, how I missed that place. I was brought out of my thoughts by my shoulder thrashing into another person. I glanced down and saw a beautiful woman, worry and annoyance written all over her face. Her expression reminded me of my father. Her eyes were an amazing shade of brown and her skin was like porcelain. Like my mother's. Sighing sadly, I opened my mouth to apologise but she had already bundled into a taxi. I continued my journey.

"Money for the hungry!" a weak voice cried out. I tossed him my wallet without even looking at him.

"Thank you sir! Thank you very much! Money for the hungry!" Poor man. Having to beg on the streets to total strangers.

"Wow, my lucky day." I heard him mumble. I glanced back and saw an enormous man handing the same man his jacket. I was suddenly pushed into an alley by a couple in a heated argument. The girl was tiny and hunched down, obviously fearing the man she was fighting. I took a ragged breath in and smelt rotten fish. And blood. I turned to the scent and was shoved into a wall.

"Who the fuck are you?" A gruff voice asked me. I kept my mouth shut. My head was banged against the wall.

"Answer me" The voice commanded. Still, I was quiet.

"Oh, a brave one. You think you're tough, eh pretty boy?" I was silent.

"You know, I'm not a person you wanna mess with. I could snap your neck easy as a toothpick. And I wouldn't be afraid to do it either. That what you want boy?" A thought struck me. That _was _what I wanted. I wanted to die. More than anything else I wanted to die.

"Yes" My throat was dry and the word came out as a whisper. The man pulled me back and hit my against the wall again.

"What?" I swallowed.

"That's what I want. Please. Kill me." He laughed once, a harsh sound.

"Can't do it now you've asked. Where's the fun in that? You really wanna die?" The tone of his voice changed. It was suddenly more an amused curiosity.

"It's what I want. I want to die" Confidence seeped into my voice. The thug's eyebrows raised. He reached into his back pocket.

"Close your eyes and give me your hand." I did as I was told. Cool metal was pressed into my hand.

"Good luck" I heard a ghostly chuckle and opened my eyes. A knife was in my hand. I looked around and saw I was completely alone. I took a deep breath and thought of my mother, my father.

"See you soon" I whispered and plunged the knife into my heart.

I felt my body hit the cold, wet concrete. I saw a million things from my life in a second that seemed to stretch on forever. My mother, handing me a stuffed toy. My father, his brow creasing as he read. My first piano. A puppy with floppy ears, licking my face. My mother laughing as she danced with my father by the fire. Fire. Fire. Burning flames exploding out like harsh crimson tongues. They clouded my vision and burnt through my body. My eyes flickered open and I was in a white room.

"Hey..." I heard someone behind me sobbing. My body twisted round out of involuntary curiosity. And I saw them.

"What the..."

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. I own eye drops though, due to my contraction of conjunctivitis. Boo. _


	3. The Tortured

_Warning: This one gets a little distressing. You were warned._

Chapter Three – The Tortured

I stroked my hair absent-mindedly as I stepped out into the street. It was an hours walk to my boyfriend's house. And I wanted to break up with him in person. It was sad really. I'm sure, with a worse looking person, he might've been a nicer person. But trying to get into my pants every ten minutes is not what I consider nice.

"Money for the hungry!" A disgustingly filthy man called out. I ignored him. He was probably a junkie, it was his own fault if he chose to spend all his money on drugs. My high heels clicked on the eerily silent street. A rumble filled the air and water suddenly poured from the sky.

"Gahhh! And I just got my hair _perfect_!" I glared up at the sky. As if my day could get any worse. Two of my clients had pulled out of use in the company, I was on my way to break up with my boyfriend, and now, on top of that. It was raining. A tall, muscled man was coming toward me. I licked my lips and smiled, typical Rosalie behaviour. He looked disgusted, and walked past without another look. That wasn't right. I'm Rosalie Hale. I get men. Always.

"Hey! You're a pretty little thing aren't you?" A voice slurred from a store doorway. I ignored it and kept on walking. Someone grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Oi! I was talking to you! You deaf? Pulled a deaf one, Royce?" Royce? My boyfriend? Sure enough, there he was, leaning up against a wall. He had a few men with him, clearly all drunk. I struggled in the man's arms.

"Oh, you're a feisty one. Bet she's a tiger in the bedroom, isn't she?" Royce laughed once, like a bark.

"Wouldn't know. She won't give it up. Will you, Rosie?" He was next to me now, I could smell whisky on his breath. I struggled again and was freed.

"Royce...can we talk?" He grinned, showing rows of perfectly white teeth.

"Sure Rosie. We can...talk" He led me to a dark corner, not very far from his friends. I bit my lip.

"Maybe somewhere a bit more private?" A round of catcalls followed my words. Royce shook his head.

"'Fraid not. Here or nowhere" I sighed exasperatedly.

"Fine. I think we should break up." The grin vanished from his face, replaced by a look that could kill.

"What?" He glared at me.

"I think we should break up. I'm not comfortable with you advancing on me as much as you do." He barked out a laugh again and pushed me against the wall.

"_Me _advancing on _you_. Oh no sweetie, you've got that all wrong. You're a _tease_. You act all sexy and sweet but you never come through. Well, you think you're getting away with that? No." He pinned me to the wall with one hand and began to rip of my shirt with the other. Fear flooded through my body as I realised what he was going to do.

"Please, no!" Someone clamped their hand over my mouth. He ripped my shirt from my body. His hands tore my skirt from me and pulled down my underwear roughly. He stopped for a moment to admire me.

"So beautiful. Such a beautiful whore aren't you? You're aching for this. You want me, and you know it. Well, you're going to get it." He pulled down his pants and pushed himself inside me. It was tortuously painful. The hand on my mouth loosened and I screamed out. But no-one heard me. Once he was done, he called out to his friends.

"Come have a go guys. I swear, it's like a dream!" And it happened again. And again. The pain was excruciating, I felt like everything inside of me was being torn apart a million times. I switched off, desperatley pretending I was somewhere else. Next to the fire with my father. Watching TV with my mother. Combing my little sister's hair. Anywhere but here.

"Hope you enjoyed that princess. If I ever see you again, it'll be just the same. So steer clear, right?" I nodded. I couldn't speak. My fear had paralysed me. My eyes looked left and right. I was alone. All alone. Trembling, I pulled my scraps of clothing over my mutilated body. My hand grazed over a shard of glass.

_If I ever see you again, it'll be just the same._

Before I fully comprehended what I was doing, I was dragging the shard across my wrists. Blood gushed from my wounds and I felt numb. My entire body felt heavy. I just wanted it to end. And it did. I was flying, pain free, into a brilliant bright light. I was spinning round and round, until my eyes opened and I was met with an unwelcome sight.

_Disclaimer: Once again, don't own Twilight. I own seven bags of carrots because me and my friends eat them like rabbits._


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